There are very few problems with sign ups (just a fraction of one percent) and most transactions will go through just fine. Still, the actual processing of payments takes place on the remote server of our billing processor and, though very rare, it certainly is possible for something to go crazy now and then. If to err is human, to really screw things up requires a computer (and adding multiple computers is a sure recipe for disaster!). This page is our attempt to put you at ease and make things right.
If you think you are one of the unfortunate few who has encountered a problem, please take a moment to read through this page and, most of all, be patient -- we will get it right!:
We promise that we will do everything in our power to help fix it for you!
We can extend memberships and set usernames/passwords up manually, if need be. We have never stiffed a customer and no one has ever ended up paying without getting access. If worst comes to worst, and there is simply no way to make things work between our site and your computer (hasn't happened yet), we can refund the transaction.
We care about our customers and will see to it that you get what you paid for!
That said, let's discuss some of the little things that can go wrong on occasion and what can be done to fix them:
1) Call customer support. Yup, thanks to the good folks at RocketGate, you can contact a live human operator for Muki's Kitchen 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. We're happy to deal with any questions or problems you might have at any time. If you are having a billing or access problem, try contacting us through one of the following:
- By phone within the USA: +1 855-553-1284 (toll free)
- By phone outside the USA: +1 702-749-4453
- By email: firstname.lastname@example.org (answered within 1 hour!)
2) Sometimes everything goes through just fine (the transaction is processed and access is successfully set up) but the customer's computer isn't aware of this. No one likes to hear that the problem is on their end but, in almost every single past occurrence of access trouble, this turned out to be exactly the case... The good news is that it is easily fixed and you can do it yourself! This sort of problem arises from the fact that almost all browsers (your surfing software -- ie: NetScrape, Internet Exploder, you get the idea...) load pages into a cache and then spit them back at you when asked. This is done to reduce the reloading time when you click back and forth between a few pages and, for the most part, it's a good thing. However, sometimes you will encounter an error and, even after you think you have fixed it, the browser keeps coming back with the previously cached error page. Here's the simplest way to fix it:
- Go to your browser's settings or preferences and empty the cache. Your browser will probably come back with some kind of "end-of-world" response and ask you if you are sure you really want to do that ("Are you insane, man!!!") Ignore it. Kick it if it offends you. Then go ahead and delete away.
- Quit your browser and re-start your computer.
- Re-launch your browser and go to Muki's Kitchen.
- Log into the portfolio and enjoy!
Really, it's that simple. This works almost every time and, in addition to getting around the cached page problem, it forces your browser to process everything as if it's encountering it for the very first time -- including login information and responses. It should also be understood that sometimes a cached file may get corrupted and, by forcing the browser to reload, you are making sure that you get a brand-new, fresh and clean copy of the page. Try this and you probably won't even need to write to us.
3) Every once in a while, we get a panicked email from someone who has successfully gotten into the portfolio they just bought but, for some reason, either every little picture on the index page is represented with a blank placeholder or they can see the thumbnails but can't see any full-sized pictures. This one had us stumped for a bit but a computer-savvy customer tracked down the cause of the problem and shared the solution with us: It's probably your firewall. A firewall is a piece of software that protects your computer from outside tampering through your internet connection. Most of the time it works just great and you won't even notice it (it operates in the background). It's a good thing and it is there to protect you. Unfortunately, sometimes it gets carried away and starts protecting you from things you actually want to see (sounds like the Republicans must have gotten involved... ;-) "Zone Alarm" is notorious for this. Here's how to check and see if this might be the cause of your nightmare:
- Try turning your firewall off and then accessing Muki's Kitchen (you may need to quit everything and re-start your computer for this to happen).
- If you start seeing everything fine, your firewall has been over-protecting you.
- If you are not the paranoid type, you can keep your firewall disabled for the short period of time it takes to download a portfolio and then turn it back on when you are done.
- If you are the paranoid type, you're going to need to do some serious searching and digging to find out exactly which setting in the firewall is blocking images from loading. While there's too many different kinds of software out there for us to be able to give a definitive solution to every problem, we can provide the following clue: If you are seeing the images normally on the free pages, your firewall is probably blocking images that come specifically from protected directories and/or secure servers. Also look for something along the lines of "web filtering settings" or "safe browsing" and try temporarily disabling these features.
That's it. Three courses of action for three possible problems. If you have read and tried the above, and things are still not working properly (or at all), re-read the bold text at the top of this page and write to us at:
We will work with you until we get it right and we will make sure that you get your full week of access.
Thank you for your patience and your understanding.
--Mr & Mrs Muki